


Things Fall Apart (Hospital Scene Re-do)

by Elen_tari



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: But Gives Karen More Agency, Canon Compliant, Canon typical swearing and light mentions of violence but nothing major, F/M, Hospital Scene Fix It, Ok I threw in a kiss too, Punisher S2Ep11, kastle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 08:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17721434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elen_tari/pseuds/Elen_tari
Summary: “Can I ask you something? Does that Matt Murdock know you’re here?”Karen’s face darkened, but without speaking, she rose and unlocked the cuffs from the bed on both sides, setting him free.  Then she turned away, so he couldn’t see her expression, but her hands were balled into fists.  She inhaled deeply, staring at the inoffensive gray and white paneled walls as she choose her words, careful and exact.“Matt does know I’m here, actually.  Of course he does; we both heard it on the news.  In fact, he told me not to come.  But guess what?”  She turned back to him, tilting her head to the side, her voice bitter with sarcasm. “He’s not in charge of me.”----------------------------------------------------------------------------Get ready for our badass girl Karen Page to have more of a say in her conversation with Frank.





	Things Fall Apart (Hospital Scene Re-do)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, please leave me a review! I decided to write it after a comment I made on twitter, and then realized I wanted to re-do the whole hospital scene. :)

“Can I ask you something? Does that Matt Murdock know you’re here?”

Karen blew out a sigh, her chest tightening. _Really? We’re going to talk about Matt?_

Frank took her response as a no.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, leaning his head back against the pillow. He sounded so smug, it sparked her back into action.

“What does that have to do with it?” she snapped.

“Come on, Karen. He’s good.  Don’t throw that away for me,” he returned.

Karen’s face darkened, but without speaking, she rose and unlocked the cuffs from the bed on both sides, setting him free.  Then she turned away, so he couldn’t see her expression, but her hands were balled into fists. She inhaled deeply, staring at the inoffensive gray and white paneled walls as she choose her words, careful and exact.

“Matt does know I’m here, actually.  Of course he does; we both heard it on the news.  In fact, he told me not to come. But guess what?”  She turned back to him, tilting her head to the side, her voice bitter with sarcasm. “He’s not in charge of me.”

“Karen…” Frank began, but she cut him off, starting to pace a bit.

“He’d like to be.  Matt. He’d like it if people would just fit nicely into boxes, to come at his beck and call, like when he occasionally remembers he does need friends.  But he can’t.” She waved one hand, dismissing Matt’s short-comings. “And he’s learning. He’s getting better at it. But he’s not good, Frank.”

Crossing her arms, she looked at the ceiling, her eyes suddenly over-bright; her cheeks, the tip of her nose flushing as she held her breath for a moment before speaking. “And neither am I.”

He sat up, watching her closely as she continued.    

“So will you please drop whatever delicate-little-flower image you’re trying to project on me?  It’s not true--- and you know it. That’s what you’re good at, right, Frank? Seeing through all the bullshit?  And there’s a whole goddamn shit storm that follows me around, whether you show to protect me or not.” She sniffed and rubbed her nose, but held back any tears.  “But I’ll show up for you, Frank. Every time.”

He clenched his hand against the bed rail, though whether to support himself or simply from frustration, she wasn’t sure.  “It’s not like that,” he said gruffly. “The things that happened to you and the things that I do----- it’s not the same. Come on, Karen.  You’re brave and you’re strong, but you will throw everything away for me, and I cannot let that happen.”

“So it’s ok for them to risk everything, but not me?” she called him out.

“Karen, don’t do that. Look, they…. that kid needs me to stay alive. Madani, she’s as crazy and lost as I am. But you have to walk away--- and I --- I have to tell you to walk away.”  

The last part was just a hoarse whisper, but she caught the difference.  He was trying so hard to adhere to the boundaries he’d decided ruled their relationship, the lines never to cross, never to contact her, the things never to let himself think about or feel too deeply. . .

“That kid, she’s got people that want to kill her. I’m going to murder them,” he warned, trying to confront her with the truth, as if it would frighten her.  “You want to be a part of that?”

“You’re right,” she said, keeping her tone light.  “We’re not the same. Today was the first time you thought you’d killed three people who didn’t deserve to die.  Fortunately, Billy Russo doesn’t think much about ballistics and forensic science, or he could have set a trap that’d be at least a little harder to disprove. . .  And so what if you didn’t kill them? Their blood’s still on your hands, but you can learn to live with it.” She gave a rueful little laugh, trying to cover the fact she was suddenly trembling all over.  “I do it every day.”

Shit. She hadn’t meant to drop the burden of her own guilt on him, not here, not right now. He wasn’t going to let her help if he thought she couldn’t handle anymore pain and loss. But damn it, she shouldn’t have to remind him he wasn’t the only one in the room who suffered. Against her will, the list of names that haunted her started playing over in her mind.

“Karen….” He pulled himself up and crossed the to room to her. Seeking his closeness, she took a step forward, but stumbled a little as her feet tried to move. He caught her arm, steadying her, then kept hold of it, searching her face. She managed to prevent herself from crumpling against his shoulder and bursting into hysterical sobs.

Instead she said calmly, “Fifteen, Frank.  I’m at fifteen. If you add up all the bodies---the security officers at the hotel, my friends at the Bulletin, at the church….Father Lantom….that’s on me, Frank. And the number keeps going up.”

“Karen, God damn it. Those deaths are not you.  Don’t you go beating yourself up for what some piece of shit did, just because you were there. Those don’t count.”

He put his hand on her cheek, and she only realized from his touch that it was wet. Automatically, she raised her sleeve to wipe away the streak of tears.  He didn’t let go of her though, his face just inches from hers, the unspoken longing they always shared almost overwhelming her senses. Karen bit her lip.

“That still leaves me at two, Frank,” she murmured.

For some reason, that made him laugh, his smile crinkling in a flash of brilliance through his warm brown eyes.  

“Delicate little flower, my ass, Karen.  I have _never_ thought that, not once since I laid eyes on you,” he said, momentarily forgetting how hard they were working to stay restrained and controlled, and taking her in both his arms for a hug.  “Not your first rodeo?”

She broke and laughed too, a little awkwardly, as she recognized the phrase he had spoken to her two years before, in the diner.  

“Just the usual roundup,” she admitted. Then, slowly, she brought her arm up to rest upon his shoulder.  For a moment, neither of them moved, realizing they were holding each other for the first time.

“You can’t hide what you are, Frank, not from me. You are what you do.  And I’m not asking you to stop or change--- I’ve learned that’s a lost cause.  But I need you to remember, you don’t just kill people, Frank. You save them.”

He grunted and started to pull back, in denial of her words, but she gripped the hospital gown tightly, keeping hold of him, so he couldn’t escape what she was about to say.   “You saved me, you saved that girl, and I know there are others. Madani knows it too, or she wouldn’t be here. You kill and you kill, and one day…. you are probably going to fuck up for real and kill someone you didn’t mean to, but that won’t change any of this.  It won’t change how I feel about you.”

She thought for sure he’d pull away after that, but to her surprise he stopped and suddenly yanked her closer.  As he clutched her frame against his torso, she realized, under the thin fabric of his gown, she could feel the padded bandages that must wrap around his chest, pressed against the silk of her blouse. Whether it was from shock or that he was almost painfully squeezing her rib cage, his sudden embrace quite effectively silenced her from admitting any more forbidden things.

“Karen,” he hissed, his lips almost touching her ear. “Karen, you tangle with me, you are going to get _shot_ .  It’s gonna be _you_ in this hospital bed, or worse, down in that morgue--- and Karen, I cannot do that again, do you hear me?  I---”

“Quit acting like you’re all darkness inside, Frank,” she countered, brushing her hand up from his arm to rest on his chin, mindful of the many cuts and bruises that covered his skin.  “I already saw the light.”

He relaxed his grip on her. “You reporter types are always trying to shine a flashlight down some hell hole, aren’t you?” he growled, taking refuge in falling back to teasing her a little.  But then, very slowly, he touched a strand of loose hair that had fallen from her bun, a soft glow of gold under the fluorescent ceiling lamps. His eyes turned serious again as he twined his fingertips through it, and his voice was thoughtful—- “Just too dumb to realize you only see a light because you brought it with you.”   

She shivered. _You’re not playing fair, Frank. Stop looking at me like I’m so pure and good. Didn’t I just tell you, I’m not? I’m not. I’m not. Don’t you understand, I walk around hurting as badly as you are?_

Ah. But he was Frank.

Of course, he understood.  And better than anyone else ever did.

He could push her away a thousand times and never weaken, but the moment she slipped up and let her pain show too much, he was all heart. It was what she loved most about him, if she was being honest. He would never have become the Punisher without this deep-rooted need to protect, comfort, and heal anyone broken and afraid.

His hand slipped from the lock of hair he’d caught to the back of her head, his fingers knotting through the thickness of her bun at the nape of her neck.  For a second there was nothing but the sound of their breathing, soft and low, until he pulled her face to his, closing the gap between them and letting his mouth find hers.

He kissed her, very tentatively.  She could feel the roughness of his stubble, the warmth of his mouth, as he eased his lips over hers, pausing briefly, but then returning, drinking her in.  As far as kisses went, it was nothing like what she’d half-dared to imagine in the past--- clinging to him in a frenzied passion after getting caught in a hail of bullets had seemed more probable.  Instead, this was gentle, slow and utterly devastating with its certainty. _You love me and you know I love you._ Two sides of the same coin---the need that pulled them together was the same one that kept them apart.

“This is a mistake Karen,” he muttered.  “To come here and see me. We can’t make this real.”

“I spend every day pretending, Frank.  You’re the only one I don’t have to pretend anything around.”   _Why are we allowed to speak all other truths to each other but this?_

He kissed her again, fierce and deep, arms around her as if he’d never let go.  Their tongues danced and she felt a sudden rush of heat, making her gasp.

The door opened.

“Oh great, do I have a new mommy?” drawled Amy.  “You guys are the cutest.”

Frank took his lips away.  “This kid. Impeccable timing, huh?” he muttered, nuzzling lightly against her jawline.  Feeling foolish but absurdly happy, Karen grinned back at him.

Dinah came in, then paused, seeing them standing together.  Frank shifted into attention, tand put Karen behind him, almost guarding her, as he met the Homeland Security agent’s gaze.

“Huh.  Well, this answers a lot of questions I’ve been puzzling over.  And raises a few more.” Her eyes narrowed as she stared at Karen.   _What the hell is wrong with you?_ hung in the air, unsaid.  

Karen did not deign to give a response.  “So what’s the plan?” she asked.

Dinah tossed Frank a pair of navy blue pants, followed by a shirt.  Apparently she and Amy had kept themselves busy disrobing the unconscious officer.  

“I scoped out the rest of the floor,” Dinah informed them.  “There’s a fire alarm just around the corner from the water fountain, that doesn’t seem to have a surveillance camera monitoring it.”  She looked meaningfully at Karen. “If I’m wrong, there’ll be a lot of consequences.”

For aiding and abetting a criminal to escape,  Mahoney will throw her in jail without blinking.  Not to mention all those patients that would have to be evacuated--- no doubt many with serious medical conditions that would make them both inconvenient and risky to move.  And even if they got away with it, she’d be heading back to the office and a sulking Matt, trying his best to stifle his self-righteous disapproval. Was it worth it?

She nodded.  “I’ll handle it.

Frank sat down on the bed and tugged on the uniform pants before stripping the hospital gown off.  Sure enough, he was such a mess of medical tape and gauze pads, it brought exclamations from everyone in the room.

“Jesus, Castle!” said Dinah.  “You think you can walk out of here, like that?”

“You look like pounded meatloaf,” squeaked Amy, her tough demeanor suddenly cowed.  Karen was touched to see young woman drop beside the bed to help him pull the shirt over his arms and start lining up the buttons.  

 _We’re all idiots thinking this is going to save him_ , Karen reflected.   _He needs a month on bedrest, not an escape plan._  Then her lips tightened.  Although Frank loved to think of himself as an unstoppable force, a month on bedrest probably _would_ kill him.

Amy rose to her feet and glanced towards Karen, scrutinizing her carefully.  “You know,” she said, her voice intentionally loud, “I was thinking you and Madani had some sort of unresolved romantic tension going on, but clearly I was wrong.  What’s the deal with you and this bit?”

“Oh for God’s sake!” spat Dinah in disgust. “We do not have time for this. Let’s go, people.”

“Did he tell you about getting shot in the ass?” Amy directed to Karen, chatty and inviting.  “My hero.”

Frank’d had enough by then too.  “You, shut it. Madani, give me a hand,” he ordered.  She came and slid an arm under his shoulder.

“They should have taken my badge the first time I helped you, Castle,” she said, scowling.  “Once your hands get dirty, you can’t wash it off.”

Frank locked eyes with her.  “No,” he said. “Not if they’re smart.  You’re a fine agent, Madani. You never back down.  They’ll just realize it’s time to transfer you to a messier department.”

Dinah’s mouth fell open.  Karen could still she was stunned by the compliment, while at the same time furious that his words had still managed to please her.  At last she said, “Well, I guess that’s as much of a thank you as I can expect. Karen, you’re up first.”

“Right.”  She could hardly bare to look at Frank as she tugged on her jacket and turned toward the door.  

God, it felt like they could only be in the same room for five minutes before the next goodbye.  And each time they left, there was no certainty they’d meet again.

Frank wet his lips and called to her.  “Hey,” he rasped. “Be careful.”

“I will.  You too. Be careful,” she repeated as she left.

_Be careful.  Take care._

_The last things we always say to each other are imbued with caution and fear, an intense wish for safety.  The tide of bloodshed never stops because we both keep fighting. I’m the hostage, the bait, or the distraction. Or just the one who digs up the missing piece of the next puzzle. . . And you? You set hellfire to the streets._

_The danger is only greater when we’re together.  But dangerous for whom, Frank?_

_Why kiss what you can’t keep?  Why love what you can’t afford to loose?  Why not say what can’t be unsaid? Just little words, all of one syllable, the ones that leave us breathless._

_Even without you, things fall apart.  With you, things might just fall into place.  If only._

She smashed the glass and an alarm began to wail.  

She kept walking.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this fic because, even though I appreciated what the hospital scene meant for all us serious Kastle shippers, I don’t think it did justice to our badass girl Karen Page. Ultimately, much of their conversation rehashed old stuff (Frank’s family’s murder and Karen being there for him through his grief and guilt…. Though I know that never gets old as he keeps reliving it) and Frank telling Karen to “walk away”, even though we all know she won’t. 
> 
> I was frustrated when Frank brought up Matt and Karen at first said nothing, and then deflected. I don’t understand Netflix-Marvel’s reluctance to let their shows have more of a cross-over in content. So I decided to fix the scene and give us a little more reaction and assertiveness from Karen and calling Frank out on some of his BS. 
> 
> Personally, I don’t think Karen would ask Frank to stop being the Punisher anymore, especially after her experiences with the shootings at the Bulletin and the church. Violence follows Karen Page around and there is no “after” or end of war for her either. 
> 
> I think Karen’s heart says she just wants to be there for Frank as much as he will let her, and hopes her influence on him will help him not completely lose his humanity. 
> 
> Let’s not forget Karen page has killed too, and I’m sure carries the weight of other deaths that she was also involved in. If anyone has done a real tally of how many deaths she’s witnessed or been responsible for by proxy, I’d love to hear it. 15 was just my best estimate, I’d be happy to edit it. 
> 
> Seeing Karen all dressed in white, and treating her as so pure and in need of protection, does not do her character justice or give her enough credit for the trauma she’s endured and overcome. That’s what draws her to Frank, not her desire to somehow change him or fix him. They can be themselves around each other and both know that is a very rare thing.
> 
> As always, the Punisher is the product of Steven Lightfoot and Netflix-Marvel. This piece of fan fiction is written in appreciation of the characters and story created by the writers who worked to create the show and the actors who portrayed them. Apart from a few lines quoted from the episode, all the rest of this text is the creative content of me, Elen-tari.


End file.
